Merely Sarah

Grief, growth, and choosing positivity every day.

Come with me on this journey through life after loss…

My life has been ravaged by suicide loss and it’s aftermath, but I am determined to live it to the fullest extent. I want to be completely transparent with you. Show you the beauty that can come from pain. The many ups and downs of this roller coaster we are all riding. I want you to see my struggles… because this shit ain’t pretty, but nothing real ever is.

I’ve been dealt one hell of a hand here… and I see it as I have two options, I could fold right now and cut my losses, or I can bluff my way through this and see if I can take the pot.

This blog is about my story as I experience it; the the ugly, raw emotion behind grief, the beauty of moving forward, and the comical chaos that life really is. It’s as true as it gets, and while I don’t intend for any of this to be upsetting or a trigger for anyone, I do understand that it’s a sensitive topic to some, so please proceed with that in mind and stop reading if it’s too much.

Love and healing to you all!

When the silence gets too loud, drown it out with music.

Living alone is a strange experience. I’ve always been the independent type, so living alone is not a big deal. In fact, most of the time I actually enjoy it. I have my own space and the freedom to do as I please with it. It’s rewarding to look around and know that I’m not…

My heart is safe right now…

Heartbreak, whether from someone leaving, loss of a loved one, or loving something you can’t have, is the worst pain there is. There’s no comfort for it and no pill we can take to alleviate the pain. We never fully recover from it, and we spend our lives trying to avoid it and walking around…

I am me.

I am me. Merely Sarah. I’m the always positive one. The one that loves unconditionally and forgives far too easily. The one that makes jokes at inappropriate times because I believe laughter heals everything. I am the calm-cool-and-collected turned total hot-head when I get pushed too far. But that’s what makes me, me. The parts…

Social Distancing and Grief: Like Oil and Water

During the chaos of the coronavirus pandemic, take a moment to consider those who have recently suffered a loss, of any kind, and how they may be affected by isolation and social-distancing. To some, quarantine or social distancing means bunkering down with their family and riding out this mess together. To others… the grieving, the…

Guilt. Another painful twist on grieving a suicide loss.

Do I even have the right to miss you? Do I deserve the support being offered? How can I be out having fun when he’s gone? Why am I so selfish? Why wasn’t I good enough? If you’ve lost someone you love to suicide, I’m sure you’re plenty familiar with these thoughts. They come up…

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